MY WEDDING MY TRAGEDY Episode 5

MY WEDDING MY TRAGEDY-(RANAR AURE NA) Episode 5
     ***Phateemah Taheer***

Its been nine months since the death of my beloved Aisar.God knows i never thought even for a second that my life would ever be the same again,and it wont because i know it.

There's not a single day that passes by that i dont wish things were different.There's not a single day i go to bed without "whispering i love you my Aisar",hoping that some how he will hear me.His thoughts are the fist of my thoughts every morning and last thing at night.

My whole world revolved around Aisar and now i feel like a part of me is missing,a part that can never be replaced,and with that missing, i dont think i can ever be whole again.

I started my youth service about eight weeks ago and going to work everyday has really helped in taking my mind off things.I meet new people everyday and the people at work have been exceptionally nice to me.

I just cant help it,but in every crowd i try to look for Aisar,sometimes i see his face everywhere,i blink three times eachtime and his image goes away.I just wish i can see him again even if it is just once,just one more.

The more i try not to think about him,the more i just keep coming across things that remind me of him...When i see a yellow car drive by,a little tear drops down my cheeks as i remember how much we both hated yellow cars and how Aisar would always say if he were to be given a yellow car for free,he would sell it....My mum loves tea so much,Aisar and my mum are the two people i know who love tea so much,and for their sakes i learnt so many different tea recipes,now i cant help but cry when I make tea for my mum or when i see tea recipes being called out in food shows on TV.

Aisar is one of the few people who have always encouraged me to persue my dreams and always go for what i want,and that is just one of the million qualities i love about him.

I have never be the model type or slim bodied kind of girls,while growing up i was chubby and i still am so i try as much as possible to avoid starchy food,sweets and foods that makes people fat,my love for Salad cream was magnificent but i quit Salad cream because Aisar said it would make me fat and he wanted me to maintain my stature just the way it was.I still dont eat Salad cream.At many times,i take a bottle out of the fridge when making Salad but i never eat it,because i promised Aisar i wouldnt gain more weight by eating Salad cream until i have lost so pounds.Staying true to my Aisar even in death is what i will forever do because my love for him os far more than the love i have for any food stuff.......and the list goes on and on.

How can i forget some one who gave me so much to remember?How can i let the memories and times i have shared with Aisar just go?If not because of Death,i would have been with my Aisar everyday and night,but life lives me with no choice,i know at some point,i have to let all of these go,the question is when and how?When will i let his thoughts and memories go when he left me just like yesterday and with so much to remember.

Next Episode coming soon.
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